Why Remembering People’s Names Is a Leadership Skill (and How It Builds Trust and Better Customer Service)

TL;DR: Remembering Names Matters

• In leadership, customer service, and teamwork, names matter more than most people think.
• Remembering names isn’t a memory issue; it’s an attention and intention issue.
• Using someone’s name signals respect and immediately builds trust.
• Saying a name out loud locks it in better than silent repetition.
• Simple techniques work if you actually use them consistently.

Read more beneath the video.

About once a week, I stop by the Gibb’s coffee kiosk near my home in Auburn, Washington. Riley, the barista, always remembers my name. That alone is impressive, but she also remembers how I order my coffee and how Janet (my spouse) orders her coffee. But wait, there’s more. We usually order a coffee to take to a friend, and Riley remembers that, too! I asked Riley how she remembers everyone’s names. She wasn’t sure how she did it, but she commented on how important it is to remember names. She also explained how disgusted she is when she is treated rudely or even indifferently when she goes to a coffee shop. Her goal is to make her customers feel important and cared for.

Riley may not be sure how she remembers so many names, but I can tell you it’s because it’s important to her. She knows how important your name is to you. My dad taught me the importance of remembering people’s names, explaining that their name is the most important thing to remember about someone.

It’s About Importance

I’ve often heard people say things like “I’m terrible with names, but I’ll never forget a face.” Come on. That’s just an excuse. If something is important, you’ll find a way to remember it. The problem is that we just don’t make the effort to remember.

When I was a corporate trainer, I could memorize the names of about 30 people by the first break in the training. Even today, I’m still good at remembering people’s names in social and business settings. Here are some of the techniques I use:

How to Remember Names

1. Say their name as soon as you can. “Doug, it’s great to meet you.” or “Emily, I’m so glad to meet you.”
2. Use their name in conversation as soon as you can. “Hannah, how do you feel about…?” or “Good question, Jared.”
3. Some people may think this is cheating, but in corporate training seminars, I would have everyone introduce themselves. (This only works with smaller groups, due to time constraints.) I’d write down their name based on where they sat in the class.
4. I would silently review the participants’ names. You can also do that in one-on-one situations. (This is an effective technique, but it’s much more effective to use their name out loud.)

The key is to be intentional about remembering people’s names. It’s not about having a bad memory; it’s about being like Riley the barista: caring enough to remember the other person’s name. 

(One thing to remember is not to go overboard using the person’s name. That can make you sound like a smarmy salesperson.)

People feel respected when you remember their name.

And in leadership, customer service, and teamwork, respect is everything.

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