Three Critical Rules for Good Listening Based on the Wisdom of Tommy Norris

On the Paramount series Landman, Tommy Norris (Billy Bob Thornton) offers fatherly advice to his son, Cooper (Jacob Lofland), on how to understand women: “Ask, and then listen, and then make it come true.” That’s just generally good advice for understanding people, regardless of gender.

Want people to think you’re a great conversationalist? Learn to listen well. Learn to listen before you speak. And, when you do speak, ask questions more than you make statements.

One of the most common reasons IT managers and supervisors enroll their teams in our customer service training programs is to help them become better listeners. End users and other customers complain that technicians and engineers don’t use good listening techniques. They talk over the customer, finish their sentences, and don’t pay attention to what’s being said.

There’s more, just below the video.

Three Critical Rules for Good Listening

So, here are three critical rules for good listening:

Rule 1: Ask Questions First

Tommy’s first piece of advice to his son is to “ask.” Asking questions is the first step in truly understanding someone. Sometimes in IT technicians or engineers dive straight into troubleshooting or offering solutions without first fully understanding the problem. This can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and poor solutions.

Why it matters:
Asking questions doesn’t just gather information; it shows respect for the other person’s perspective. By framing the conversation with questions, you invite others to share their thoughts, which builds trust and encourages better dialogue.

How to implement:

• Start your conversations with questions that help clarify the situation. Instead of jumping into a diagnosis, ask the user to describe the problem in detail.
• Use open-ended questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer, such as, “What happens when you try to open the application?” or “Can you tell me what you were doing just before this issue started?”

Rule 2: Listen, Don’t Interrupt

The second part of Tommy’s advice is to “listen” before making any moves. Too often, we think that the moment someone starts talking, we need to jump in with our own thoughts or solutions. But real listening means holding back your responses and letting the other person finish their thoughts before you speak. I once had a clerk in a hobby shop start giving me solutions to a problem before he fully understood my issue. I finally told him to wait until I fully described the issue.

Why it matters:
Interrupting can signal that you’re not truly paying attention. It can frustrate the other person and even cause them to stop sharing valuable information. In IT, the smallest detail can make a big difference in understanding the root cause of an issue, so listening without interruption is crucial.

How to implement:

• Practice the art of pausing before responding. Let the speaker finish their thought without jumping in.
• If you’re unsure whether the person is finished, ask a clarifying question like, “Is there anything else you’d like to add before I respond?”
• Avoid finishing their sentences or assuming you know the answer right away. Don’t be like the guy in the hobby shop.

Rule 3: Make It Come True (Follow Through)

Tommy’s final piece of advice is to “make it come true,” meaning take action based on what you’ve heard. Listening isn’t just about hearing words; it’s about responding appropriately and taking steps to address the needs or concerns raised. In customer service, especially in IT, this rule translates into providing a solution that aligns with the customer’s needs and expectations.

Why it matters:
When you listen carefully and follow through with an appropriate response, you build credibility. When you fail to follow through, it not only damages your relationship with the customer but also leaves their issues unresolved.

How to implement:

• Ensure that when you offer a solution, it’s based on the full understanding of the problem you’ve just listened to.
• Follow through on any commitments you make. If you say you’ll resolve an issue or follow up, be sure you do.
• After resolving the issue, follow up to ensure that the solution worked and that the customer is satisfied. This shows that you’ve listened to their concerns and are invested in a positive outcome.

Good Listening in a Nutshell

Tommy Norris’ advice, “Ask, listen, and then make it come true,” can be applied in many situations, but it’s especially valuable in IT customer service. When we take the time to ask thoughtful questions, listen attentively, and follow through on what we’ve heard, we build stronger relationships and offer better solutions.

In your next customer interaction, remember these three rules:

1. Ask first to gather the right information.
2. Listen fully without interrupting.
3. Make it come true by acting on what you’ve heard.

By mastering these listening skills, you’ll not only improve your technical problem-solving but also your interpersonal relationships and customer satisfaction.

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