The Three Most Important Rules for Giving Feedback to Technical People

Robert was a network administrator. He was competent on server software including Windows, Linux, and UNIX. He held Cisco certifications. His networks were fast and reliable. His people skills, however, were lacking. For example, if you asked Robert a question that he thought was stupid, he’d squint at you, cock his head like a dog, and go back to what he was doing without saying a word. You can probably imagine what it was like trying to give him feedback. Sometimes, you might be willing to tolerate Robert’s off-putting behavior, but workplaces are dynamic. They’re always changing, and effective change requires teams to communicate. It requires individual team members to be approachable and supportive of each other. Robert needed to change the way he treated his coworkers. That’s why it’s critical for IT leaders to leavn how to give feedback.

If your technical team is brilliant but difficult to work with, you don’t have a technical problem. You have a feedback problem. Even if most of your team is easy to work with, but one or two team members are like Robert, you still have a feedback problem. Because behavior doesn’t change by accident. It changes when people understand the impact of their actions and are given a clear, respectful path to improve.

And in IT, being easy to work with isn’t optional. It’s the difference between a team that gets things done and a team that creates friction with customers, coworkers, and the business.

Read more right below the video.

Three Rules for Giving Feedback to Technical People

Here are three rules that will help your technical staff become easier to work with without watering down standards or lowering expectations.

Rule #1: Tie Feedback to the Customer and Team Experience

If you’ve got a Robert on your team and you want them to change behavior, don’t start with “you.” Start with impact.

Too many leaders give feedback that sounds like this:
“You need to improve your communication.”

That’s vague, and worse, it sounds like a personal critique. You can imagine how Robert would react to that!

Instead, connect the behavior directly to the experience of customers or coworkers.

For example:
“When updates don’t include what was fixed, the user doesn’t know what changed. That creates confusion and follow-up calls.”

Now you’ve shifted the focus. You’re not questioning their competence. You’re showing how their behavior affects other people. And that matters.

Here’s the reality: most technical professionals don’t wake up thinking, “How can I frustrate users today?” Robert was great with technology, but he didn’t consider the downstream impact of his words and actions on his colleagues.

Your job as a leader is to make that impact visible.

When feedback is tied to:

• Customer experience
• Team efficiency
• Reduced friction

…it stops feeling like criticism and starts feeling like problem-solving.

And that’s a language even Robert could understand.

Rule #2: Translate “Be Better” Into “Do This Instead”

Telling someone to “be easier to work with” is meaningless unless you define what that actually looks like.

This is where most feedback falls apart.

Let’s say a technician comes across as abrupt with users. You might say:
“You need to work on your people skills.”

That’s not actionable. It’s frustrating. It would definitely get a “Robert squint.”

Instead, translate that into specific behaviors:

• “Before jumping into troubleshooting, acknowledge the human behind the issue: ‘I can see how that’s frustrating.’”
• “At the end of the interaction, summarize what you did and what happens next.”
• “Avoid one-word responses in tickets. Add one or two sentences of explanation.”

Now you’ve given them something they can do differently on the very next interaction. Technical people thrive on clear instructions and defined processes. If you want better behavior, give them a better process.

Specific feedback:

• Removes ambiguity
• Builds confidence
• Creates repeatable habits

And here’s the bonus. When you’re specific, it feels less personal. You’re not saying, “You’re difficult.” You’re saying, “Here’s a better way to handle this situation.” That’s a big difference.

Rule #3: Coach, Don’t Correct

If your feedback sounds like a lecture, you’ve already lost them. Think about how you feel when someone lectures you. (I shut down within seconds.) Nobody likes being talked at. Especially people who are used to solving complex problems for a living.

Instead of delivering feedback as a correction, approach it as coaching.

Start with curiosity:
“Walk me through how that interaction went from your perspective.”

This does two important things:

• It shows respect for their expertise
• It uncovers their thinking

And often, you’ll find that what looked like a “bad attitude” was actually:

• Time pressure
• Incomplete information
• A misunderstanding of expectations

From there, you can guide the conversation:

“Here’s what the user likely experienced…”
“Here’s where we can make this smoother next time…”
“What would help you handle that differently going forward?”

Now you’re not just pointing out a problem. You’re building capability. And that’s the goal. Because the real win isn’t fixing one interaction. It’s helping your team consistently be easier to work with across every interaction.

The Shift That Changes Everything

When you apply these three rules consistently, something important happens. Your team starts to see that being easy to work with isn’t about personality. It’s about behavior.

It’s about:

• Communicating clearly
• Reducing unnecessary friction
• Making life easier for the people they serve

That’s a skill set. And like any skill, it can be learned, practiced, and improved.

It’s about being aware of how your words and actions affect customers and coworkers. Then it’s about being intentional in choosing words and actions that lead to a positive outcome.

This is where your role as a leader really matters.

If you ignore behavior because “they’re technically strong,” you’ll pay for it in:

• Repeat tickets
• Frustrated users
• Internal conflict
• Lower team performance

But when you address it the right way, you create a team that’s not only competent, but also collaborative and trusted.

One More Point

Don’t confuse being easy to work with with being soft.

You can be direct and still be respectful. You can hold high standards and still treat people with dignity.

In fact, that’s exactly what great technical teams do. They solve problems efficiently, and they do it in a way that makes customers and coworkers want to work with them again.

Final Thought

In IT, competence gets you in the door. But how you work with people determines how far you go.

If you want your team to be more effective, more respected, and more valuable to the business, focus your feedback on one key outcome:

Make them easier to work with.

Do that by:

• Connecting behavior to customer and team impact
• Giving specific, actionable guidance
• Turning feedback into coaching conversations

Get this right, and you won’t just improve performance. You’ll build a team that delivers results and creates positive experiences every step of the way.

You’ll build a team that’s easy to work with.

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