How to Provide Great Customer Service Without Being a Pushover

I’m a people-pleaser. Always have been. I’m not, however, always successful at pleasing people, but I really want to! I love saying “yes” to customers, my spouse, my children (that was a problem when they were teenagers), teachers, end-users, you name it. If they asked, I wanted to say “yes.” The problem is that sometimes the answer has to be “no.”

That’s hard for those of us who care about providing great customer service. Many of us struggle with setting customer service boundaries. We want to help, and we don’t want to disappoint people. But great customer service doesn’t mean agreeing to unreasonable demands, making promises we can’t keep, or tolerating abusive behavior.

Being easy to work with doesn’t mean being easy to walk over.

The People-Pleasing Trap

There’s nothing wrong with wanting people to be happy with your work. In fact, there’s a lot that’s right with it. The problem occurs when keeping someone happy becomes more important than doing what’s right. Or being afraid of disappointing someone.

Suppose an executive wants admin privileges on their laptop because they’re tired of calling IT to install software. You could say yes and make them happy momentarily, but doing so could also create an unnecessary security risk.

Also, consider who’s asking. It’s not usually a good idea for a junior-level technician to challenge a senior-level executive or a high-end client.​​

Or suppose a customer wants a project completed by Friday. You know Tuesday is realistic, but you don’t want to disappoint them, so you promise Friday and put in extra time to complete the project, time taken from your personal time.

That’s not great customer service. That’s people-pleasing. (Of course, there are times when such extra effort is warranted, but certainly not always.

Understand What’s Behind the Request

Before saying no, try to understand the business reasons behind the request. Customers sometimes ask for a particular solution when an alternative might be better.

The executive asking for administrator privileges isn’t trying to create a security vulnerability. They’re just frustrated by what they see as unnecessary interruptions. Once you understand that, you can stop debating administrator privileges and start looking for a safer way to solve the actual problem.

Ask questions. Listen carefully. Even when you can’t give someone what they ask for, you may be able to help them get what they need.

Explain Why and Offer an Alternative

Few things are more frustrating than the policy excuse, “We can’t do that. It’s our policy.”

Policies usually exist for some reason, so explain why the policy exists. Maybe this request opens a security vulnerability, violates a software license, creates compliance issues, or requires unavailable resources. You don’t usually need to give a lengthy technical or legal explanation. Give them enough information to understand your reasoning.

Don’t stop at no. Offer an alternative of something you can do.

“We can’t give you permanent admin privileges because that violates security policies, but maybe we can find a way to make software installations less disruptive.”

Our job isn’t to defend the rules. It’s to help our customers and coworkers solve problems within reasonable boundaries.

Customer Service Boundaries: Compassion Doesn’t Mean Tolerating Abuse

People-pleasers also struggle with boundaries when someone behaves badly. Being compassionate doesn’t mean you have to tolerate insults, threats, or personal attacks.

Give a frustrated customer some grace within limits and maintain your respect and dignity. You can say, “I understand that you’re frustrated, and I want to help, but I need us to keep it respectful.”

Managers need to support their people in doing this. If you claim customer service is a priority but abandon your employees when a customer becomes abusive, you’re sending a powerful message about whose dignity matters. You’re also sending a powerful message that you’ve got your employees’ backs. Remember, people don’t do what you say; they do what you do.

Sometimes the Answer Is No

Sometimes you’ve listened, demonstrated empathy, explained your reasoning, and offered reasonable alternatives, but the customer still wants something you can’t or shouldn’t provide.

The answer is no.

Treat the person with dignity and respect, explain the situation, and hold the line. You can also consider escalating the issue, looking for possible exceptions or alternatives. Sometimes your technical competence tells you that what the customer wants is unsafe, impractical, unethical, too expensive, or simply wrong. Great customer service doesn’t require you to ignore your professional judgment just to make someone happy.

I’m still a people-pleaser. I suspect I always will be. I like saying yes, and I don’t enjoy disappointing people. But I’ve learned that sometimes the most helpful, respectful, and professional answer I can give someone is “no.”

Great customer service is about taking care of people, not keeping everybody happy.

Remember, it’s important to be easy to work with, but being easy to work with doesn’t mean being easy to walk over.

Next Level IT Customer Service Training

Enroll your team now in Compassionate Geek IT online customer service training so they can work together, get things done, and take care of customers.